NOte to self

Couple things, me.

Whenever you know you wanted to run but when it's time and you've finished your chores and it looks like it's gonna be kind of  cold and you might  not like going out there, so maybe wait til tomorrow -  just put on your spandex, sports bra and fresh socks and you will feel it.

Whenever you're sad, remember that all it takes is a quick car ride with somebody and your heart will turn over.

BSCB at the Opera House

Last night we played at the Gravy Opera House with Miranda M. It is so much spookier playing in a fully captivated audience than a loud bar with half a crowd of drunks. This was cool. We had a sparkly dressing room, food and gifts downstairs. The best pay just to play 3 songs as part of the final act in the summer gala.

I can't begin to speak to how much this family means to me. I can be totally consumed by my job, but  that feeling disappears when I go to practice, shows or try to act smart with my team at trivia.

Miranda was totally inspiring, time to pick up the old violin that randrew made me.

Life be happening.

My baby takes the morning train

It's not often that I'll admit to myself that things are going well. More often than not, I find myself cheering 'why me', instead of relishing all the good that I have in my life.

But! I guess it's true that people move at different places. Especially so when your 3 yr girlfriend dumps you at family Christmas. My emotionally latent boyfriend has moved into doteland and I am queen! The other day be admitted to me that if I had been gone a little longer he could imagine missing me. Leaps. And. Bounds.

Otherwise, it feels like I was patient and something changed. How do I feel? I feel pretty like. Awestruck. At times. I do feel some insecurities considering his massive brain, but thankfully he's enough of a goob that it works.

The other day he randomly picked me up and I was super down because of people at work laying into me after my vacation. I was quiet and tired and he just puttered around me. I felt bad for being awkward until he just sat in front of me and hugged me. Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed and caught up in being lonely, but he pulled me out of dark and twisty.

I still haven't told him about my big bad. I'm scared that if I do, we won't be normal. Every time I say I'm not hungry it will be because of the sickness and I'll feel compelled to change my behaviour for the wrong reasons.

It hasn't been great lately. After I got back from Spain I had three instances in a week. It's so hard not telling anyone. I haven't been able to talk about it for years.

Anyways, I guess things are good but 25 yr oldly hard.


Of course, this wouldn't be an authentic log if I didn't insert the disclaimer that I have some marginal amount of grievances to keep me company.

Sometimes I miss my real best friend.
That I was terrible to.
He'd hate that.

Achoo!

Did you just get a chill?

I'm just a hurtin soul

Subject and object

Patootie

What is that?!!

Pulls over for snowbirds.

On this day, we met Bruce with his pressure washer, liquidated, Barnstormer and hot sauce.

I need a new project. I decided I'll do the 9 mud run outside Bracebridge before Oktoberfest at Sawdust.

Other aspirations... start making skater a-line dresses in funny patterns, more horseback riding, books and trails.

I snapped some pics during a Chapters reprieve.

No blackmail

Heavy eyelids are all I know. I felt so tired today. Hey future self, here's your 24 yr old version of tired.

But seriously. Summer can end, I need a vacation from everyone else's vacation.