I got off the bus today and was walking be this tall girl. Her legs didn't fill tights, and I could see her kneecaps protruding from the side of her leg. All I could stare at were these legs on this tall girl. I had no idea how she was even walking, so tall on these pins. I went through jealous, self-pity, pity, worry, sadness all in that short walk across campus. I thought she looked so confident and on top of the world, and I couldn't even see her face. I wondered how she was doing in a post-secondary education without eating. I know that at that state she's probably taking in half of what she needs. It's not as easy to do in the demanding life of university. Studying takes energy and your brain starts to fog and function less. To top it off, the obsession that goes along has to be distracting.
I passed her feeling judged. I mean I've been there, I know that she's not mocking me or calling me fat in her mind. Girls in that state are just in an endless motion of self-comparison. Self-affirmation is achieved as long as she's skinnier than the next girl and the next. However, I sucked it up and worked the ass I could never had when I was like her.
I try to avoid getting all serious bloggies but this stuff hits me. I wish her a fast recovery if she's not already in too deep.