I'm just a hurtin soul

Subject and object

Patootie

What is that?!!

Pulls over for snowbirds.

On this day, we met Bruce with his pressure washer, liquidated, Barnstormer and hot sauce.

I need a new project. I decided I'll do the 9 mud run outside Bracebridge before Oktoberfest at Sawdust.

Other aspirations... start making skater a-line dresses in funny patterns, more horseback riding, books and trails.

I snapped some pics during a Chapters reprieve.

No blackmail

Heavy eyelids are all I know. I felt so tired today. Hey future self, here's your 24 yr old version of tired.

But seriously. Summer can end, I need a vacation from everyone else's vacation.

What I did with Bet

Weird, I thought I was being expressive not a stoic snake face.

OH WELL.

Singing things in the hallway at the Curries shop.

After the sad

After a sad post induced by messing with serotonin...

I saw my parents and my dad dive-bombed this man guy type friend person that I am supposedly dating at my show.

It's a quick month old, and I'm still a little intimidated about what to do with it. Parent meeting is so official.

I think what's so hard about it is that once you've been in love, you're constantly comparing that experience to new ones. I can't even remember if it took time or if it just clicked.

Slowly he's growing on me.

Sometimes I think about the tracks.

Once again, I turned and pushed. I push and push.

I think it's time to look for a new place. I've worn out my stay and my job's worn me.

I laid there, waiting, then sat aside as it flew by.

What is wrong with me? It would be easier if it had a label.

Celibaface

v1

Blogger does not like video.

Hot and bothered and putsing. 5th show coming on up on the 25. We were rebooked by Rick at SDC after the last packed show! I love 75 dollars and free beer all night.

Year 2

Remember photo booth shoots? It was like the snapchat of my early university gen.

 The last time I took one was winter 2015. I think I was on my way to a Gob show.

May 2016, after a sleepless night in the sweltering heat. There's an air conditioner and neighbour beers in the near future.

Coming round year two in my apartment, which I do love apart from the lack of yard. An undetermined amount of time. Tomorrow, I recommit to the grand madonna lb.

Annual Family Picnic in BB

Re-embracing my dorky do-goodery.

It's like being in Student Council except we meet over drinks.

I think I've got names down: David, Rob, Lauren, James, Owen, Jordan, Katie, Nick, Nick, Kristi, Madison, Me and ____ forget.

It was really cute, we had a relay and jelly bean guessing. I haven't scooped ice cream since I worked at Kusterman's... 3 years ago. Oh boy.

Gull Lake

I swam across Gull Lake yesterday.

Apparently swimming is harder than running.

I really need someone to teach me the proper stroke and breathing method but I made it. Only drowned once.

Oddly there were a million bugs. They don't go after you know. Probably because they know I am an Olympic athletes trainin.

Anyway, the only pic I got to commemorate the moment when my phone died.

117.6

i need a dolla

Flush flush, hunny got a raaaise.

A respectable one, probably of reasonable means. So long as nothing happens to my car, I can survive. That's what my vacay pay is for!

I guess I will be here for another year unless something else comes along. But that's good. I can see where the band goes, get some quality volunteering under my belt, and make some consignment dollars on the side. Plus, I can't leave as an intern. Need some time with a real title, for bragging rights at future (brewery?) positions.

It's good, I have an awesome friendgroup, lakes galore, and breathtaking scenery everywhere I go.

And lots of blackfly bites. It looks like I got tracheotomy. Bugs literally going for my throat.

Girds Corner

IT BEGINS.

eheheheheheeee weeee

Girds Closet

Recently, I've got this crazy notion in my head that I want to open a store. After reviewing my contract at my job at the brewery, it dawned on me that it's going to be a slow transition to even notable means. In fact, the proposition I got was a stagnant one. After a year of busting my butt and taking over my mentor's job, I got offered a goose egg of a raise and thank you in the form of a $250 bonus cheque. It may have well been offered in the form of pennies to really complete the offence.

Anyways, the long weekend offered time to reflect and think and talk to some friends that had started their own business or on their way to. I thought about what would really make me to be happy. Not working away under someone's derisive thumb, who found the suggestion that I receive a sizeable raise towards that of my predecessor laughable and borderline offensive. The suggestion was made that I should be less concerned about my finances in my dedication to the company.

Like give me a break.

So now I'm just fantasizing about using that empty space below my apartment and turning it into a consignment store to offer funky clothes that aren't available at a good price for the youth. Notably, this may be a poor decision to try to attract young customers in a location with an unstable representation of youths. So who knows, maybe I go after the old birds or just use this space as a kind of totem of inspiration and take this elsewhere.

Maybe it's a pipe dream, but I think it's also something I think I'd regret not even trying. I could ask my grandpa to spare some of his lofty allowance on a loan instead of dropping it on whatever gold digger is stroking his ego this month.

I would have a couch with a guitar handy for bored SOs to sit and jam, some cucumber water in a decorative cooler dispenser to keep people lingering. Some suggested coffee, but that's crazy why would I have staining stuff.

There's even a salon next door, where I could redirect traffic. after they're all gussied to find an outfit and feel all nice about themselves. Man, I would love picking out outfits for people and building them up, attending auctions, closings and blowouts. Helping people resell their own stuff would also be nicey.

I was talking to this new pizza store owner that was bragging to me about all the things you didn't actually need to do to start up anything.

Maybe I could start a parasitic pop-up and host it in my apartment.

I'll spend a year planning and researching before I jump into anything. Or this will just be something I think about for a long time while I amass small small savings until the time is right.

---

In other news, I have to say that while I'm in a relatively good spot, what they said at Sick Kids is true. You never truly get rid of it. It's gotten better, it's changed and mutated, but it's still impacting my life in a negative way and I just can't stand it anymore. I put out feelers to a psych that at least partly deal.It's so hard and stressful that I can't talk to anyone. I feel too ashamed to discuss it with my mom beyond maybe maybe getting her to help me out with the bill. I just don't want her to be sad and worry about me anymore. I don't want to sit down at meals and feel judged or concerned. It's moreso when I'm on my own that there's even a problem. I've called her crying about my other gambit of problems like boys and work. And she's so happy, she gets sad when she can't help. I didn't even realize how upsetting this all is until I sat here to write it down. It's not the disorder that is currently making blubber like a bonehead, but the secrecy the pressure of bottling it up and having no one to walk through it with. I miss Lynne, I always looked so forward to meeting with her. 

The Kait Gatsby

Reunion gatsby birday

Just ghostin through town

backstage

A month of music and moves

It's times like these that make me step back and think holy cow, I'm gonna blink and be 50. We got to play the Roots North Musical Festival with a couple great acts two Saturdays ago. Slocan Ramblers and Old Man Luedecke are my new obsession. Such great artists, but alas on an all-American tour for the next little while. 

Before we played Beer, Bourbon & BBQ, I walked into the shop and was greeted by a team of Girdwoods! The honour is due a ten-fold salute.

This was a wicked fun time, even though some of the white hairs couldn't really stand the big sound of the brewery acoustics. The chef, Terry, from Fork in the Road was already a big fan of the Currie's shop and loved the show. Even our head brewer was raving. Terry kindly whipped up some insanely good veggie fair for the 3/4 vegetarians in the group. I forgot how good he was at foods. So fully bellies, beer for me mates and $50 later was a good tradeoff.

Over the past month, we've been ruining everyone's facebook feed with self-promotion of our place in CBC Searchlight. 250 out of 1400 bands were selected for the next round and we're crossing our fingers that we'll be number one in our region, Central Ontario. We topped it in the judge's panels, but not most popular public vote (meh). A good friend of mine made up this video in time for submission: thanks dude, you're KILLER.

And today, my friend miss Kaitlyn has officially moved to Bracebridge for the summer! We probably got into too much trouble over the month that she lived with me, but I think the separate housing will soften the calamity.

Chaffey Hall Show

Amazing show!! And the cutest oddest little theatre. I'm over the moon about the band and my bandmates. Collected a generic hat from a drummer. Saw some weird dead lion pics in the basement and bonded over carpeting. 

I was scared of you at first, Muskoka but you're my second home. Next up Roots North! 

WELL WELL WELL

It appears you have won the race to legitimacy.

Hey girlface if you're reading this.

After an initial day of wanting to barf all over my phone.

I'm happy for you.

But only because I know I'm cooler than her!

In my own way.

Undoubtedly I knew this day would come. Because you're an awesome cool interesting guy and our union most certainly ran it's course.

I'm just doing my usual man-scaring. Which is shitty then fine.

Thoughts now that I be bloggin

I made this in Photoshop today because I was boooored. My late manfriend introduced me to phlearn and it is AWESOME. So many great video tutorials. Soon I will have many skills and eliminate jobs we outsource to designers, who are a pain in the ass to deal with.

I was pretty bummed on Tuesday, but now I'm like only half bummed. I'm just bored of being single and want someone to do stuff with all that time that I really like. I really like only a few people.

I'm thinking I'm going to sell my Wayhome ticket to go awayhome. I mean away. Like trips to the east coast or the USA. I need someone to go with cuz this is definitely getting kidnapped.

Makin Roots

I ain't purty and I ain't no good. Ain't no one's gonna love me.

But God don't make no junk!

Singing Sawdust Prity

Some serious hand holding at last week's shoot. After a couple months of getting acquainted with these fine humans, I'm absolutely joyous to be performing live for the first time in forevs this weekend. Best bday.

Some of my favourites: Lone Wolf, Soiled & Stained, Twice...

Kafundo

Brazilian Electro Fusion

Where them beach parties at!

I'm feelin' it. 2016 is my year.

Must be that year of the monkey spinning in my favour. One week and I turn 24!

"Life is a killer"

Just keep reminding yourself to make the most of it!

Febrewary

-Via Soundcloud follow alert
This one reminds me of Birds of Tokyo ^ via.... The Music Ninja



On repeat ^ Via Soundcloud randomization
Via Bandcamp Weekly



via Silent Shout


Via my lead Bet Smith

Januweary

Good friend Kaitlyn returns to Gravenhurst for her super cool interview at Moose. We're looking at a messy month of april in cohabitude. Next stop, common-law.

Andrew captures my first band practice with Bet Smith & The Currie Brothers. I've been waiting a long time, but I think this means I am officially cool. It might look like I'm playing the bass, but I'm definitely slamming some stellar vocal harmonies. 

Needless to say I really missed this stuff. Shout-out to the lady above for soundcheck.

#Reblog Gala's list

Gala is my life mentor and general source of a pick-me-up when I need inspiration or am feeling blue. Her 2016 list makes my heart smile and is pretty much a digital copy of what I think of every day but never write down.

Learn how to sew.

Compete in a race again.

Leave bad habits behind.

Continue not to cook complicated things because it's just not something I care to do.

Bake something fucking unreal tho.

Swim in 20 lakes.

Bike to work.

Travel (______) no idea

to be contd.

Squirrel Nut Zippers

I'm feeling blue and a little heartbroken, but at least I know someone out there cares. I hope the future me goes through this post from a brighter, fuller perspective. Right now, I just feel completely let down. I would be frustrated if I wasn't so sad. 

The path to finding true love is riddled with struggle, risk, and heartbreak. I read in Quartz that the true question shouldn't be what do you want in life, but what are you willing to endure. Sometimes I think love isn't worth the struggle and rejection when it's so painful. Maybe I didn't find love, just a connection, a friend. Maybe I'll keep searching and it will never even come close to what I once had.

I just can't believe wanting someone so bad could be so unmutual. Or maybe I forgot.

And in the dead of winter I go numb, once more.

Sad post Sarah