Hey Magnum

It's totally cool if you read my blog because there's a lot of stuff that I like to talk about with you that I forget. So when you read this shit you can relate to the brain matter I forget.

dude, facebookers are weird. or at least facebook allow errehone to be psycho-overemotive freakballs.

facebookers, you're retarded

endless emoting about your personal life.


it's a cry for attention, you know you're not actually connecting with anyone, vrai?

what you do that pisses me off about facebook

those girls that pose with their shiny new sports cars full grin that their parents bought them

I love love love Nurse Jackie. Maybe it's the hair.

Understanding

Occasionally, at times, I let loose some of my sensitive issues to my boyfriend, and it works out.

Thanks for asking how I want my eggs. <3

Your vast amounts of butter scare me lol.

bleh

A heinous bitch of a hangover. On the plus side, lack of drinking has lowered my alcohol tolerance level.

weed does this sometimes too

sometimes i feel awful about my body and i spend hours trying to let myself be delighted.

I think that part of why sex is so feel good yummy is because it can let you respect how your body feels and moves with someone else's and forgotten is the stress of comparison in daily life.

THAT'S ALL

Heyree

Some day we'll both live somewhere cool in our own houses and throw our children in a park while we reminisce about being retarded high school and post-after girls.

But for now I live four hours away. Shit.

how can i have a totally awesome day and fuck myself every time.

radiolove

I love you CHRW.

Filming tomorrow! What do I talk to Muslims and Italians about?

Sooo small town white.

Found it

OH. and I'm totally getting a corgi jumping over the moon for my next tattoo.

blah blah blah blah blah

Find the one that treats you daaaaaamn good.
Sorry readers if I bring up the man so much.
It's just what happens when you had zero luck with boys since puberty.
AND THEN BAM.
I wish I could have been more conscious and stronger as to realize how unfit my choices were. At the time, I was all like: omg boys have finally accepted me into the realm of sex appeal. It's important to realize (and tell your daughters this FTLOG) that what it can offen be misconstrued from vag appeal. And fuck that.

Though I do like sex.
A lot.
With the Magnum up there (the old nom de plume was too fluffy) every time is like heightened pleasure. It's amazing how crazy you can go on each other when you have a high level of mutual adoration. In retrospect, any other experience is really mediocre. It's hard to enjoy anything when that little voice is relaying the reasons why it sucks: I don't mean anything to this person, I am so not attracted to you, I am just doing this to affirm my sense of self, etc.

oh but!

wow that sounded conceited

don't let your libido down, it's really hard to find your other half. Just be strong and have fun, but neeeever think that access to your vag will seep love potion on that dude's vag. (if male, reverse)

finally

Last day of Spanish! Eeee. Well, minus the exam, but whatever, I'm passing with at least an eighty. Oh boy I can't wait to do shit all. I just want to go see my manfriend and give him snuggles. I'm such a suck for that boy. He has melted mein heart!
Took so freaking long to find that boy. Dating him has made me realize how poorly I've tried to match myself to others in the past. I guess I was just forced to wait. On the plus side, I am only twenty so that's pretty early, and I'm pretty sure I want his babies. No, I am. Yah. BABEZZZZZ

I wanna find other people's (that I know) secret blogs but not really, just like mine, on the internet.
ya dig?

Ahh man...

kyruuu, I wanna know what's up but not disturb the rumble. call me. xxxxx

All I want to do is play, not blast, music in every room of this house.

Man

I kinda think phone seshing would actually be kinda jokes.

I don't trust google. There I said it.

I really want to keep a diary. This blogging is just like caddy venting and posting of random shit, but I am tempted to turn it into such. But, I will not do this because that would be lame. I want paper with real writing and feeling in unalterable ink. Then my grandkids can find and be like, wow, grammie wrote all this when she was alive way back in the early 2000's. It's crazy when you think that three generations, especially now, with delayed pregnancies, span a full century. If I have children when I'm like 27 and my child has a child when they're 27, that means that when my grandchild is like 27 reading all this I will be a whopping eighty-one. They'll be all whooooa I'm from 2073 and this was written sixty freaking years ago. So old and crazyyyy! I'm going to convert this into haulo-text to take it with me in my hover-van.

true say.

Almost done

I can't tell  you how pumped I am to be done this class. No more waking up early to run and get to class EVERY DAY. I'm going to drink, get high and go crazy and lazy. Once I'm done my exam, I am peacing the fuck out of London. Sorry, LT, but you suck and bore me right now. I won't be coming back soon.

Unless my promotions officer needs me. Shiiiiiit.

I am swept up in you when we are together. When we are apart there's an invisible string tugging at my ear to come back.

• speakers
• matte blazer
• hdmi cord
• snow jam
• picture frames
• long board
• art
• new dope not tacky purse
• wallet
• a pair of pumps that are just awesome
• vacation with the Magni
• concerts fuck
• a sick bong
• wine
• scented candles
• a book dedicated to tattoos
• a tattoo
• cz/diamondy nose ring

omg

how could i have ever considered love with any other

your sleepy stoner<3

Ahh

There's two things I'm afraid of when the house is empty.

1) A murderous axe wielding maniac that looks like Kevin Bacon.
2) And getting locked in the bathroom.

I like teeeeea!

pardon my tongue

Things I learned in therapy:

When girls hit puberty, a whole bunch of feelings and awkwardness take over not only their bodies, but their minds, Duh. It was something that always bothered me, but didn't consider to even be a common issue. Many girls go through a long stage where they lose their voice to self-consciousness, and while they're worried about what to say and how to act, the guys are being wackjobs and goofing around. Girls really lose themselves to this performance where they hold back their true self.

If I had any memory worth using I would tell you the name of some beautiful 60's feminist who included this idea in her 60's feminist book. She wrote that most women experience a long phase of self-supression until their 50's or 60's.

I remember when I was in public school and all of a sudden I wasn't me anymore. I closed up like book. Nothing I said was important and everything I said would exile me to the farthest depths of social exclusion. Soon I began barely speaking at all. I spent a week at summer camp and I barely said a word to anybody. I still feel that this was a rare case among my peers and this muteness lasted a very long time. To add to my my anxiety, my sister had just started high school. This girl that I emulated, who I thought was the coolest and smartest older sister I could get was in the big box down the street. Little did I know that she was experiencing I guess a whole new realm of adolescence. As I was just starting into puberty, she corrected my words and how I acted in public and at home. It sucked dick, and obviously as a young girl I took it to heart. I was wrong, I acted weirdly, I couldn't trust myself.

Barely speaking and showing off my low self-esteem, my dad finally took me aside. I'll always remember what he said to me in a small hallway outside the home ec room. This must have been while I was in grade 8. I had popped in the music room with him, and stood there while he spoke to my jazz instructor and quickly left ahead of him once he was done. He grabbed my shoulders and looked at me straight in the face, something I avoided at all costs. "You have to try Sarah. You have to try to talk to people. You won't even look me in the eyes. What's wrong? You look so sad. Just go back in there and be there. Try to just make eye contact."

Okay well I think that's what he said.

It really stuck with and while I may not have changed my ways in a snap, it helped. If someone spoke to me I STARED at their eyes like a hawk. I wanted to prove to myself that I could and that this would fix all my social anxiety. Aha, that's what came out of a questionnair they gave me on 7A at Sick Kids. The results are in: she has poor body image and severe social anxiety. No freaking duh. Anyways, it's interesting, I began noticing that people felt awkward making eye contact. At the time, I blamed it on myself, but really everyone has shit that makes them nervous.

I can't believe I posting this on the internet. TBC, Spanish time chicos.

omg a toaster with a corgi coming out of it.
that's my new tat.
oh and the toaster is on a skateboard.

the world is great, look at this.

Yay!

Is it cliché that I love them?

I think the camera might have had to be high to achieve that flow.