Get used to it girl

I've never been in a real relationship, but I'll take the bad to have the get the best I've ever had.

Heyyyy fucker

Bring my friend back from Moncton or I'll have a double-hernia. Also, you better be competent enough to drive high for 20 hrs and not kill yourself or her for that matter. Femrage.

Signed,
 A buzzed bitch

Ghosty

I asked "do you like my legs?" he answers "......... yah!"

IT HAUNTS ME DEAR GOD IM OBESE.

Calm down... drink more wine.

Why even go home?

MY FAVOURITE PERSON IS GOOOOONE WAHWAHWAH

AB

Dunno how I got so lucky to have the nicest housie in the whole wide world.

WHY ARE YOU SUCH A DIFFICULT BITCH GODDAM.

Getting rid of strep without antibiotics

Apparently there is concern around taking antibiotics because our bodies may become immune, and there are quick and effective to get rid of strep throat ways that don't include growing fungus in your body.

Credit to the bf for showing me the way.

Step 1: Gargle salt water ( 1 tbs salt + 1 c water)
Step 2: Gargle apple cider vinegar water (3 tbs apple cider vinegar + 3/4 c water)

Repeat til those white spots disappear and your tonsils revert to normal size.

I caught mine early (a couple spots here and there) and this took care of it in less than 3 days.

Super cheap too!

ranger

FUCKING FUCK
ugh
I mean
really?
goddam

bippity

It's in your eyes
It's in your hair
It's even in your underwear.

WonderWeek

1. Write Earthsci paper on Exoplanets
2. Run a philanthropy event
3. Maintain internship requirements

WATCH ME RAAAWR

Last night I learned I'm female

I need to pump some iron.

10 things I want to say over text

1. Please don't go! You're the only cool person I care to see when I come home! Now I might have to go to crack parties with overconfident jocks.
2. I'm so pleased that every time I see you, you look like a piece of shit. Haha, which works because you are! P.S. I've told everyone you have chlamydia.
3. Could you stop stealing people's food? We all know that it's you. Pretty soon I'm going to throw a dinner with all the shit I find on your side of the fridge.
4. Mass broadcast: No I don't care about the Victoria Secret fashion show, and no I don't want to watch it to be around a bunch of self-criticizing downers.
5.  I know it's really sad that you had to wheel out a stinky garbage bin, but if you refuse to take anything out in the future, it's going in your room.
6. You're so gay, when I'm around you I feel more gay.
7. I would be much obliged to suck your tits.... you have great tits. Can you be my lez-out?
8. I will give you a blow job if you just give me a 90 on this paper.
9. Thanks for all the orgasms.
10. I don't care.

The inner-turmoil over the send button continues.

WHY I LOVE FIGHT CLUB

Yah, this might be like 13 years late, but I've finally entered the realm of Fight Club worshippers. Not only is this movie pumped up unrealistic super buff "average" guys, it's got Helena Bonham Carter, who always plays the creepy or dark rules, that make me like her much more than most pouty sexualized actresses. The woman has balls.

This movie takes me back to high school. I wish I could say it was because I took a lot of bitches down, but I was way too separated from drama to have any reason. Although there are some people who's high level stupidity or volume of infatuation made me angry to punch some bits, but I digress. In retrospect, I think a lot of guys at my school must have watched Fight Club together because there was a time where they would just get together and .... fight. Only two at a time no one not in Fight Club could see or know of its whereabouts, but I heard guys talking about their fights all the time.

Coincidentally, as the level of fights at school among the boys went down, the girl fights went up.  Sadly enough, fighting over boys.

Why did I finally decide to take in this piece of art? Well, to be honest, my pop culture office had the book and the movie as a couple of the works we had to watch. The book and the movie are filled with social implications. The obvious revolt of the working class against the upper class; the desire to revert society to a primitive state; the struggle for masculinity. Even the fact that the main character has a dissociative identity disorder is severe dig at the hypnotic effects of a middle-income wage office job. Addicted to IKEA and seeking an emotional experience from support groups, this character has been numbed by his standard insignificant life. Tyler represents and escape from the nauseating normalcy of his life and the search for individuality.

Only when he separates from his possessions and mundane life can he really be free to do whatever. Because when you have nothing to lose you have everything to gain.

Sexy Hobos

If you've ever been to the Eaton Centre then you're probably familiar with the hobo corner outside the glamourous Forever 21. Yah, quite the juxtaposition. The bottom of the heap lining the walls outside a store where teenagers and 20-somethings march around glittery floors and complain about finding nothing to wear.

I was used to the old guy bellowing about god and sluts, but I guess they've changed it up for the sheer delight of disturbing pedestrians. Maybe the excess of Kesha and Katy Perry from H&M across the street actually drove them bonkers.

I'm pulling my suitcase, trying to avoid eye contact (if you're sitting with a laptop reading this - you've done it too) and I can't help but check out this frisky hobizniz. One's sitting in a window with his foot up while his companion strokes his shoe with his hand. On the other side of the side there are three of them leaning against a pole with their legs intertwined. Needless to say the public display made me uncomfortable and I rush with my suitcase to get down the stairs into the subway terminal.

Yah, I know I know there's all these issues, I'm just telling a story.

I mean it's no better when awks teenagers felt each other up beside my locker. But I was glad they found companionship and a warm body to accompany them on the concrete corner.

Take it sleezey,
Rahwood

Blue skies with some clouds and sunshine

Obviously this post is about my super sweet-ass cute-as-fuck costume at LXA's alphabet party. You have to dress up as something that starts with same letter of your first name. I went as the Sky, which sounds boring but looks adorable! It was really cheap to make as well. I took my American Apparel shiny blue tinkerbell dress and dazzled it with clouds. I hot glued cotton balls together to form clouds and glued those on to bristol board. After I cut tightly around that, I stuck a safety pin through the paper and my dress. The sun was ridicks easy since I just glued it to a plastic black headband. 
Room for improvement: Could've added like birds to it I guess? And maybe extra strength paper and cotton balls would have been effective. So much drank was thrown around they kind of sadly fell off.

Perfect for non-crafters!

The lovely ladies next to me went as Katy Perry (Kristina) and Absolut Vodka (Aly). You cant really tell with the vodka one because we hadn't taped the letters yet. oops!

Brave New Worlds

My boyfriend took me to Museum London on Sunday. In the past, I never gave it a chance because London in general seemed to be a bit lacklustre.

However, I checked it out because lo and behold there was a really cool exhibit that just started. Brave New Worlds. How could I resist anything that references that sexy piece of literature. When we first entered the hall, Kyru and I were pretty freaking confused, it took a while for us to settle in and actually try to understand the art. There was everything from digital imaging, paintings, models of Haiti and a whole lot of sculptures made from transportation.

The works were riddled with dystopic references to the past and harsh commentaries on the social present. Sublime depictions of technology overshadowed nature and gaunt faces of starved Africans, forests were immersed in invasive human constructions of mobile homes. Needless to say it was amazing, and I highly recommend checking this out before it expires January 20th.

Take it breezey,
Rahwood

Bathroom

Maybe it's time to start actually complimenting and empowering women in real life rather than writing bullshit inspiration in bathroom stalls.

Your words really mean nothing to me while I'm taking a shit.

Tuesday

I can't wait to see my boyfriend. What do you do in Toronto on Halloween? If only their transit didn't close retardedly early. Maybe we can just hand out candy to adorable chilin's.

DhyCLEANING

Today I had my first meeting with my lovely boss for my very first internship! Finally, I feel like I'm building real experience, and it feels so good. I can't wait to work with her on social media development and help this small business grow.

The company is actually so beautiful. They find women in need to build them up and give them professional experience cleaning and arrange mentors to teach them english, etc. I wish I could meet this lady and her staff in person.

MEDIA MAKEOVER OHYAHHH!

London drivers suck

Today I was running down oxford. Oh good luck! The walking man says  "do not stop your roll sarah!" But some dick forest green suv says "uhduuuuh, I turn right now?"
Drove a millimetre in front of my body. If I didn't throw my hand up to push my self off I WOULD HAVE NO FEET.
Oh ok cool... just keep going, shake it off. And I did surprisingly well.

BUT THEN.
Running down a side street, and lady in her white mazda suv was too busy looking down at her cell phone to stop before the octagonal warning sign. Actually makes contact from the side with my body.

Wtf. Is today international Hit Sarah With My Ugly SUV day?

London drivers are terrible.

VideoRoyale

Today I just searched "how many countries are there in the world?" and stumbled on a cool video channel. So simple but cool watch.

It's such a weird fukkin channel. It's mostly about carbs, calories and geography. Then this one about pokemon and why not to get pregnant.

SuperFresh

Wrap you pipe in drier sheets. If yours are too chemically, thank me later.

It tastes like fresh flowers! And a freshly cleaned Penelope (the name of the elephant pipe that Hawree gave me) by your boyfran helps a lot too.

Ladies a gentlemen, I think I've done it.

     Yah we go through shit sometimes but here's to 8 months babe! I can't believe I've actually maintained a relationship for this long.

   
     I think we're rocking this long distance thing pretty hard. It's all about managing your time to see that person and working with what you've got. In my case, saving my allowance to drive my gas-guzzling van to Toronto and back. In his, booking off some weekends so that he can steal the car for special occasions or just because he likes my face. I work with my schedule, so if I have free time I go. 

   
     Ooo on that topic he's coming to my Crush. For the non-Greek affiliates, a Crush is like a semi-formal for sorors and frats. Not that I'm trying to sound all special because I pay for my friends lol. HERE'S mah DRESS.

     I hope it fits okay. It looks like that style that works on models because they've starved away their tits for fashion. Fashion doesn't make sense man. All these girls fucking up their biology. It's like their actually trying to be hangers. Half of them look bow-legged, and no matter how nice their hair and make up look, I'm convinced when a guy sees their pointy ribs, he's not gonna be all mmm sexy. Why? Fucking evolution. Their instinctual brains want T&A.

Disclaimer: sorry if you have an eating disorder or are naturally bony. 

If you're the prior: hey, been there, and you need to hear it some time because it's the truth. I'm recovered, and feeling pretty awesome when I'm not having a weird psychological episode (ie, mental problems are the only thing convincing me there's something wrong with my body). Since coming back to the bright side, male and female comrades have told me straight up that I A) use to look unhealthy/scary or B) look way hotter filled out.

If you're the latter: don't worry, you're not emaciated - just scrawny and that's fine. You pull off different styles, are healthier and maybe you have an awesome metabolism - guys love when you want to eat something with them. 11pm - Kyru, let's having fucking chips and our special guac. K: Really? Sweet. I hope you don't feel like guilty doing that - guys love girls who love to eat or don't bitch about how they shouldn't.

S: Yah, I know. This whole not eating late thing is a stupid idea that just stuck in girls heads, whenever I want to have a fuckin late snack with one of my roomies she's all nooo it'll dwell in there or some shit.

K: Yah, that's really only bad for your sleep - your body wanting to do more because you gave it more energy or something.

^-it digests when it digests people - food doesn't cement to your thighs just because the Sun is in a certain location.

Cats man.

They just sit there all day thinking. They must know the meaning of life. Or at least my cat Nellie does. She must of found the the secret to immortality because I don't know how she's still alive. Patting her is a disturbing experience...

JBM

Hey bloggies, so I'm supposed to do a website critique and I thought I could get more into it if I did it with the friendly orange button in view. Plus it's easier to navigate between tabs than windows. ctrl+tab is a beautiful thing. It's all about the hot keys baby!

Rough Draft

The website in trial is www.jbizmech.ca.

For an industry that is supposedly highly developed in powerful and destructive biomechanic weaponry, the "Juggernaut Business Mechanicals" (JBM) website leaves something to be desired for. While JBM has made some mistakes in the presentation of its Content and Technology, it is most deficient in usability, design,  and interactivity.

First, I will briefly disclose some of the mistakes made in the elements of Content and Technology. The other three elements of of Web Design will critiqued more thoroughly.

Content:

• Body text is often too small.
• The colour of the text is difficult to read.
• JBM's content assumes that the reader knows about the business right off the bat. The home page provides news before explaining what the company is about.

Technology:

• The first splash page requests the user to download an unfamiliar program.
• *check if it runs normally with javascript off*

Usability:

Not only does this website commit seven out of the "Top 10 usability sins", it also fails Krug's "Trunk Test" miserably. The first red light is the double splash page. Finding the main content requires you to select an obscure or ill-defined link on each page. When you finally arrive to the main content, it is clear that the author is not considering its audience because it jumps right into "recent" news instead of explaining the purpose of the website. The acronym remains unexplained except for the tiny caption at the bottom of a some pages. If you try to search the identifier they rely on most, JBM, it is irretrievable. The contact page is dead, and there is no email provided for feedback.

Design:

While the creator had access to an excellent photographer, the images fail to salvage the JBM website. The ill placement of the hard-to-read fonts made it hard to read the information. The presentation made it unappealing to even look at. The creator used images as icons that were not clear enough to distinguish what the tabs were meant for. Instead the user has to mouse-over everything every time if they cannot remember the page purposes. When I clicked the tabs, the main pages they led to were all different. The inconsistent layout of the website made it irritating and confusing to use.

Interactivity:

Mark Raynor, the creator of the website demonstrates that he has no inclination to connect with his readers because his website fails to enable any communications. The second splash page offers the users a form to fill out in order to use the website more effectively. This would suggest that the user would be integrated into a community by using the website. However, the form is "offline" and there is no suggestion of when the issue will be fixed. This also happens to be the same form that users must use if they have any questions or interest in doing business with JBM. The form is also guilty of asking its users to provide inappropriate information such as: social security number, blood type, credit card numbers, etc..

-.----.

I misss youuuuu!!!!!!!!!

It's like I'm watching a movie with subliminal messaging as your face keeps flashing in my mind.

Could've been worse

I haven't felt so embarrassed in a while, but I feel like I'm recuperating pretty well. You know when you say something really awks and you shouldn't even be bitching about that person at all... and they're right around the corner IN A LIBRARY. Well, I just walked away. And yah, I comfort munched on a big chocolate chip cookie and chocolate milk, but whatever. I'll live.

I just prefer to be awesome when I see people I abhor. This is what happens when you have like a sleep disorder or something. Well, I don't but damn I suck at getting sleep.

And every little thing is gonna be okay.

Astronomy

Astronomy to me: circles, things are big, rocks.

de vino

And then he gets me wine.

Abstinence never solved any problems after health class, so let's just try not to be a drunk fuck on the weekly.

One month

I'm not an alcoholic. I'm addicted to saying yes. However, saying yes many times has gotten me into too much trouble before. If I want to have a good year I need to do this. So here's to one month of sobriety.

H2alcs

I'm a naughty girl and vodka is my weapon.

vrooM!

And now begins the search for a car. A car worth of replacing the Safari GMC, AKA Sarge. I really want a volkswagen golf, but they sell like wildfire. Dad wanted to look at farmer trucks, which is less that wise since they been abused for work and suck out my money through gas.

Sell me your gas efficient and non-fucked up cars!

Hey Magnum

It's totally cool if you read my blog because there's a lot of stuff that I like to talk about with you that I forget. So when you read this shit you can relate to the brain matter I forget.

dude, facebookers are weird. or at least facebook allow errehone to be psycho-overemotive freakballs.

facebookers, you're retarded

endless emoting about your personal life.


it's a cry for attention, you know you're not actually connecting with anyone, vrai?

what you do that pisses me off about facebook

those girls that pose with their shiny new sports cars full grin that their parents bought them

I love love love Nurse Jackie. Maybe it's the hair.

Understanding

Occasionally, at times, I let loose some of my sensitive issues to my boyfriend, and it works out.

Thanks for asking how I want my eggs. <3

Your vast amounts of butter scare me lol.

bleh

A heinous bitch of a hangover. On the plus side, lack of drinking has lowered my alcohol tolerance level.

weed does this sometimes too

sometimes i feel awful about my body and i spend hours trying to let myself be delighted.

I think that part of why sex is so feel good yummy is because it can let you respect how your body feels and moves with someone else's and forgotten is the stress of comparison in daily life.

THAT'S ALL

Heyree

Some day we'll both live somewhere cool in our own houses and throw our children in a park while we reminisce about being retarded high school and post-after girls.

But for now I live four hours away. Shit.

how can i have a totally awesome day and fuck myself every time.

radiolove

I love you CHRW.

Filming tomorrow! What do I talk to Muslims and Italians about?

Sooo small town white.

Found it

OH. and I'm totally getting a corgi jumping over the moon for my next tattoo.

blah blah blah blah blah

Find the one that treats you daaaaaamn good.
Sorry readers if I bring up the man so much.
It's just what happens when you had zero luck with boys since puberty.
AND THEN BAM.
I wish I could have been more conscious and stronger as to realize how unfit my choices were. At the time, I was all like: omg boys have finally accepted me into the realm of sex appeal. It's important to realize (and tell your daughters this FTLOG) that what it can offen be misconstrued from vag appeal. And fuck that.

Though I do like sex.
A lot.
With the Magnum up there (the old nom de plume was too fluffy) every time is like heightened pleasure. It's amazing how crazy you can go on each other when you have a high level of mutual adoration. In retrospect, any other experience is really mediocre. It's hard to enjoy anything when that little voice is relaying the reasons why it sucks: I don't mean anything to this person, I am so not attracted to you, I am just doing this to affirm my sense of self, etc.

oh but!

wow that sounded conceited

don't let your libido down, it's really hard to find your other half. Just be strong and have fun, but neeeever think that access to your vag will seep love potion on that dude's vag. (if male, reverse)

finally

Last day of Spanish! Eeee. Well, minus the exam, but whatever, I'm passing with at least an eighty. Oh boy I can't wait to do shit all. I just want to go see my manfriend and give him snuggles. I'm such a suck for that boy. He has melted mein heart!
Took so freaking long to find that boy. Dating him has made me realize how poorly I've tried to match myself to others in the past. I guess I was just forced to wait. On the plus side, I am only twenty so that's pretty early, and I'm pretty sure I want his babies. No, I am. Yah. BABEZZZZZ

I wanna find other people's (that I know) secret blogs but not really, just like mine, on the internet.
ya dig?

Ahh man...

kyruuu, I wanna know what's up but not disturb the rumble. call me. xxxxx

All I want to do is play, not blast, music in every room of this house.

Man

I kinda think phone seshing would actually be kinda jokes.

I don't trust google. There I said it.

I really want to keep a diary. This blogging is just like caddy venting and posting of random shit, but I am tempted to turn it into such. But, I will not do this because that would be lame. I want paper with real writing and feeling in unalterable ink. Then my grandkids can find and be like, wow, grammie wrote all this when she was alive way back in the early 2000's. It's crazy when you think that three generations, especially now, with delayed pregnancies, span a full century. If I have children when I'm like 27 and my child has a child when they're 27, that means that when my grandchild is like 27 reading all this I will be a whopping eighty-one. They'll be all whooooa I'm from 2073 and this was written sixty freaking years ago. So old and crazyyyy! I'm going to convert this into haulo-text to take it with me in my hover-van.

true say.

Almost done

I can't tell  you how pumped I am to be done this class. No more waking up early to run and get to class EVERY DAY. I'm going to drink, get high and go crazy and lazy. Once I'm done my exam, I am peacing the fuck out of London. Sorry, LT, but you suck and bore me right now. I won't be coming back soon.

Unless my promotions officer needs me. Shiiiiiit.

I am swept up in you when we are together. When we are apart there's an invisible string tugging at my ear to come back.

• speakers
• matte blazer
• hdmi cord
• snow jam
• picture frames
• long board
• art
• new dope not tacky purse
• wallet
• a pair of pumps that are just awesome
• vacation with the Magni
• concerts fuck
• a sick bong
• wine
• scented candles
• a book dedicated to tattoos
• a tattoo
• cz/diamondy nose ring

omg

how could i have ever considered love with any other

your sleepy stoner<3

Ahh

There's two things I'm afraid of when the house is empty.

1) A murderous axe wielding maniac that looks like Kevin Bacon.
2) And getting locked in the bathroom.

I like teeeeea!

pardon my tongue

Things I learned in therapy:

When girls hit puberty, a whole bunch of feelings and awkwardness take over not only their bodies, but their minds, Duh. It was something that always bothered me, but didn't consider to even be a common issue. Many girls go through a long stage where they lose their voice to self-consciousness, and while they're worried about what to say and how to act, the guys are being wackjobs and goofing around. Girls really lose themselves to this performance where they hold back their true self.

If I had any memory worth using I would tell you the name of some beautiful 60's feminist who included this idea in her 60's feminist book. She wrote that most women experience a long phase of self-supression until their 50's or 60's.

I remember when I was in public school and all of a sudden I wasn't me anymore. I closed up like book. Nothing I said was important and everything I said would exile me to the farthest depths of social exclusion. Soon I began barely speaking at all. I spent a week at summer camp and I barely said a word to anybody. I still feel that this was a rare case among my peers and this muteness lasted a very long time. To add to my my anxiety, my sister had just started high school. This girl that I emulated, who I thought was the coolest and smartest older sister I could get was in the big box down the street. Little did I know that she was experiencing I guess a whole new realm of adolescence. As I was just starting into puberty, she corrected my words and how I acted in public and at home. It sucked dick, and obviously as a young girl I took it to heart. I was wrong, I acted weirdly, I couldn't trust myself.

Barely speaking and showing off my low self-esteem, my dad finally took me aside. I'll always remember what he said to me in a small hallway outside the home ec room. This must have been while I was in grade 8. I had popped in the music room with him, and stood there while he spoke to my jazz instructor and quickly left ahead of him once he was done. He grabbed my shoulders and looked at me straight in the face, something I avoided at all costs. "You have to try Sarah. You have to try to talk to people. You won't even look me in the eyes. What's wrong? You look so sad. Just go back in there and be there. Try to just make eye contact."

Okay well I think that's what he said.

It really stuck with and while I may not have changed my ways in a snap, it helped. If someone spoke to me I STARED at their eyes like a hawk. I wanted to prove to myself that I could and that this would fix all my social anxiety. Aha, that's what came out of a questionnair they gave me on 7A at Sick Kids. The results are in: she has poor body image and severe social anxiety. No freaking duh. Anyways, it's interesting, I began noticing that people felt awkward making eye contact. At the time, I blamed it on myself, but really everyone has shit that makes them nervous.

I can't believe I posting this on the internet. TBC, Spanish time chicos.

omg a toaster with a corgi coming out of it.
that's my new tat.
oh and the toaster is on a skateboard.

the world is great, look at this.

Yay!

Is it cliché that I love them?

I think the camera might have had to be high to achieve that flow.

show

Step 1: Freak out
Step 2: Get that shit done

INK ME

Someone please tattoo my boday right now.

Am want a corgi. Because I freaking LOVE corgis. And that is all.
Meaningful ink my ass.

Also, hawree and I should get tats.
a cupcake?
Or white lace. Girl mentioned it a while ago and I think that would be super sex.

dear grandpa

you suuuuuck
but at least my distaste for you is affirmed ever since you told me I was putting on weight when I was TWELVE.
Asshole, get your act together, you spoiled, bratty tit.

Sixty bucks later

When I offered to come over for the night he said "No, that's not practical, save your money blahblahblah." At first I was like: "Ah, man totally right... guess I should listen and just stay," but then I remembered! Since when am I reasonable person, not subject to impulse despite the best advice than others. One jam sesh later, impracticality rules all.

I wish you knew, like I do, that everything's going to be okay.

london is boring

So I repierced my nose. Well I didn't. Some lady who I swore had smoked so much weed that it stuck to her brain pierced. Thankfully I didn't think she was high, just spacey as fuck.

It's been a while, metal in my nose. I got it pierced with a hoop last year as an attempt to impress a boy, but fuck him! It looked really sick, but my dad cut it off. Metal clippers in hand, we took the sucker out in the middle of kitchen before my interview at last summer's job: Campbellford T-Hoe's. I'm short forming the popular Canadian coffee shop in case any of my former co-workers look up the number and discover my blog. Not the crowd I want reading my shit. Anyways, I don't think dad quite got that the hoop was attached to my body. I kind of had to follow the clippers to avoid losing a nostril.

Cheers to being a little more badass once more.

 Then:  My hair looks good. tbh it was freshly cut and styled, any other time it was dry as shit and blaaaahzé. If you are fine haired lady like me, don't box dye the shit out of your hair. It's all about the real stylist and root touch ups.

resist urge to make over self.

Now: studular.

\o/

All I wanna do is get high in the evening time.
Why is this a moral dilemma?
I feel influenced by the guvment and the media.

I think mi novio and I should be come a bad-ass couple that acts like a dick to people.
Yah, a rude sullen couple who don't take crap from nobody.
Stick it to the man.

some families are so creepily nice together, it makes me want to join their home and be the asshole rebel kid that makes everyone pissy

whyyyyyyy

Why do both of my grandpas have to be creepy cradle robbers?
I don't know.
But holy fuck grandpas. You couldn't even wait at least three months after your wife of sixty years dies?
How does that even work.
I know you're mourning but I think it's pretty obvious that when they ask you to buy them a car, something's wrong.
Mary-Anne was an angel. You're ugly.

tweet

ASTRONOMY
It's not for the stars, it's for the birds! I hope this class is as easy as they say.
Sooo.... for my own knowledge: review.


10 credits - 1.0 empty credit - 0.5 calc fail
= 8.5 credits
+ 0.5 easy spanish credit
= 9.0 credits
+ 5.0 credits (assuming I pass all this shiznat)
= 14.0 credits


Oh wait I need 20.0 credits to GRADUATE. Ok.... soooo


Summer 2013
1.0 credits


Fall 2013
5.0 credits
.... or something.


PUSH BITCH YOU CAN DO IT.

The usual

Boyfriend over for the weekend, laundry on Monday.
CHU KNOW WHAT AM SAYING.

In honour of my sororities symbol, I am going to get HIIIIIGH as a kite tonight. It has been so long Penelope. I dedicate this blaze to Hawree. Keep fighting the good fight, and thank you for the elephant. MUCHOS LOVOS.

The one that got away

Dammit Shiloh I miss you! Hopefully you're still waving your paws in the air. 

Like ya just don't care.

Conflict Resolution

Girls: Talk it out

Boys: Fight it out

We: Fuck it out

...then again our last argument was over dysmorphia

exhale

communication is the key to all your woes
or at least boys and hydro bills
and i'm in media
HA

Look I grew a wig.

on edge

IM SO ON EDGE GODDAM.

I hate my stupid wimpy hormones. Melodramatics will be the death of me. Ugggggggh I'm an impulsive tit.

In other news:
Spanish is easy
Free cheesecake frozen yogurt with pieces of Skor is the best goddam thing ever.
Steve Martin is kind of cute in a serious trench coat role.
And I still suck at guitar. The F chord is the devil.

bills

pay your hydro, or I will make you look like the world's biggest cunt

derp

when roommate #kimC is out i use A/C
yah bitch yahhh
was indeed able to reapply face post-melting

Today my prof ana said

"I am not out to give you bad marks, no. I am just happy to see that you are learning spanish."

Language classes are awesome.
I keep waiting for this angel-faced woman to bring in fresh, warm churros, but it doesn't happen.

oops

I forgot that tumblr exposes me to a million underweight girls.
I feel gross.

www.makelovenotporn.com

Porn World vs the Real World

Ex.
Women have no hair down there.
...
Some women shave, some women don't. Some men actively prefer women who keep their hair. If you do shave, it requires constant maintenance which can be a pain in the.... Entirely up to personal choice.

"10 things you didn't know about your orgasm"

A TEDtalk in need of quoting

1.) A fetus can masturbate in utero.
2.) You don't need genitals.
3.) You can have them when you're dead.
4.) They can cause bad breath.
5.) They can cure hiccups.
6.) Doctors once prescribed them for fertility.
7.) Pig farmers still do.
8.) Animals orgasm more than we think they do.
9.) There was an instrument developed in lab studies — a camera attached to a phallus — to study what happens inside a woman's vagina when she climaxes.
10.) Kinsey conducted, for lack of a better term, jerk-off in which he lined men up next to each other and had them ejaculate in order to study how far semen can shoot.

espagnol amigos

First, a note to self.

Aug. 6 Civic Holiday. No classes. (Western Holiday)

Aug. 17 Summer Day classes end.
Aug. 20-21 Examinations: Summer Day courses.

Today I start to learn Spanish.
Voy a saber tres idiomas, puttas!

PRIDe!

Pride parade was beautiful. Even the boy got fabulous.

I MISSED A MIDNIGHT NAKED WALK WITH HAWREE & FRIENDS.

never again.

17 Jolly Ranchers + 1 mickey of vodka + tonic water + Gatorade bottle = super stealth public intoxication

yumm!

owwww

shoes, I hate you, but you're beautiful

It did give me a chance to drunk call my boyfriend twice. Drunk Rahwood is quite explicit about not liking being apart.

Am a whiny bitch.

If I had balls, they would be sweated off right now.

Summertime in LondON

pretty shitty

It's hot as balls

What to collect from my house:
1. the ac in my window
2. My PS2
3. Yoga mat (I have to give my roommate's back one day)
4. My charger
5. My tan cream
6. All those frozen meals
7. Yearbooks

Day Nine

After my run-in with heart pains, I'm doing it. I'm giving this shizall up as best I can.
Self-reminders:
-it's dirty
-it's money-wasting
-it's straining
-it's mind-fogging
-it's bad for your health
-it's bad for making babies
-it makes those who love you sad
-it makes you sad
-your lover boy is attracted to you, shut up

It's almost July, so hopefully I can hold on to the reins and get stronger for the new semester.
This would be so much easier if I wasn't constantly immersing myself with sorority girls that are sometimes just too self-aware. Having to hear the most bodacious of babes self-deprecate or express guilt towards eating certain foods just gets to me. Had I not supplanted myself in that environment, would I feel better?

Ray Kurzweil

Get out of my genes.

Incoming Pride

Pride parade this weekend!

Keepin it simple, fresh and fabulous.
I need someone to fix my strap or I'm stapling it.

veg

There's nothing like watching Food Inc. that makes me proud to be a vegetarian.

seesaw

I'm teeter tottering. You came and lifted me up, and together we are balanced. If one of us shifts, we have feel a change in inertia and control. As long as we both stay on, we'll be okay. But I'm afraid that if you ever get off, the fall will kill me.

Fuck

Pretty sure I have at least twelve of these things going on because I'm an idiot. Yesterday, I had another incident and my heart started hurting two hours later. Wake up call, I really need to start trying. I wish I was strong enough to reach out when I need it, but instead I choose to let it slide one more time every time.

Cheeks: swelling, soreness
Blood: anemia
Skin: abrasion of knuckles, dry skin
Muscles: fatigue
Mouth: cavities, tooth enamel erosion, gum disease, teeth sensitive to hot and cold foods
Body Fluids: dehydration, low potassium, magnesium, and sodium
Throat and Esophagus: sore, irritated, can tear and rupture, blood in vomit
Intestines: constipations, irregular bowel movements (BM), bloating, diarrhea, abdominal cramping
Hormones: irregular or absent period
Stomach: ulcers, pain, can rupture, delayed emptying
Brain: depression, fear of gaining weight, anxiety, dizziness, shame, low self-esteem
Heart: irregular heart beat, heart muscle weakened, heart failure, low pulse and blood pressure

Bulimia sucks dick internet world.

Okay, onwards, pushing through.

God, I'm a selfish cunt. Suck it up and be positive already.
And try to hold on to your guts.
Weeeeee

New career path

I should have thought of this sooner. It's the perfect job.

Catocopter

One day, Nellie cat.
Thank you Magnificent. I date you for the weird and hilarious shit you show me almost on the daily.
YouTube or in real-time.

1&2 do not intersect

1. Turns out: I'm pretty bored without you.

You make even the most mundane experiences fun, or at least enjoyable. I don't have to try when I'm around you, it's like clockwork. We're the best of pals, so let's get married and have the best of babies.

I feel bad that you've been hit by a roadblock. I know you're trying very hard to move forward, and I'm here with a stick to help poke at the dam to get your river flowing again. And I believe in you. Not just because I love you and I'm supposed to say that kind of thing. It's why I love you. You're strong and driven. (Moreso than me. I quite picture myself the lazyass in comparison.) I didn't have much of a connection to my grammie, so it's hard for me to relate to the loss of a cherished grandparent. Regardless, I'm here with love and snuggles.

2. Turns out: My parents should have picked their house better. No one is in Havelock. This is the last time I don't bring my van here. I wish I could just walk down the street to meet my friends at the pub. I feel marooned. Ah well, next time I come down there will be pimp ass Canada Day times!

This is what happens when you draw a rough circle on the map and pick the cheapest house, regardless of distance. None of the kids around here are even in the same school board.

Shame

You can smell it.

I love this commercial

implications!

I love my loop!

But man I need to get consistent with this if I want to get my time up.
I need to cut off like 6 minutes off my training pace to get back to high school race pace.

Damn, running to Tiesto and Skrillex is fun.
Ciao ciao!

My Hall Pass

Now this is art.
I love you Ron Swanson.

Rob Kelly Illustrations

oh, the world

Using shame as motivation. How original. How uplifting. How pathetic.

These kind of images seed their way into fitness feeds. Demolishing any positive notion of self image.

While the above image indicates that if you aren't a certain way you should hide yourself, the one below is just as twisted. 

Get healthy? Get attention! The only reason you really need to do this is so that the world will notice you. Don't worry about identity. So what if you're defining yourself by the number of people that compliment your body!

Oh, the world. I hate seeing girls praising these slogans.
Read between the lines. Always.

Tattoo cravings

Note to self: do not peruse the Tattoo Bible with limited funds

This book is filled with people sporting simple to outrageous tattoos. It's a picture book.
Drooooolz.
I want to get it for The Magnificent, but my frugality senses tell me it will just sit around after one flip, and what good is that! Although so do most books.... technically.
And! all the different styles are so inspiring. I spent the car ride home mind-crafting my next stain. I still am.
If anything, the birds need to be extended up my back.
Does my next tattoo need to be embedded with significance?
Does any tattoo require a deep reflective meaning? I've decided that no, as long as it's not stoopid. But IMO it should match the person wearing it.

(A stoopid tattoo: "Oh shit, this is permanent"; ANYWHERE on your body. Sorry gangly nerd man.)

Bugger

You would make the cutest old man! One day you'll be wearing suspenders like your dad, and I will laugh and laugh when that time comes.

I imagine. Exposed socks and corded glasses.

Buhhh

Yikes, I'm already bored at home. And sisterbutt is taking the car to Ottawa tomorrow. Stranded nation! At least I can just chill and drink with people I actually like to party with... Ah man, I should make this more privatized in case unies see this. Some of you are lovely, and I like hanging with you, but Home-townies are just so awesome and familiar. Even if some suck the dick.
Gosh, I'm a curmudgeon. Anyways! All I really want is bestie, bear and b time here sewwww.

What else will I fill my time with?

Maybe I'll preemptively investigate spanish since I'm filling my void of credits with intro to spanish!
Spanish things I know....
Si, No, Mi novio es muchos caliente!, taco, burrito, salsa, haciente...que, mi amo Sarah
I hope it's not too hard. I have learned french already, so we'll see.

Peace!

^holy fucking random

weird

Man
Old ladies should not worry about they're figure.
They should be plump, make pie, and be awesome squishy huggers.

OMG APPLE CORD

Welcome back to my life. You beautiful piece of overpriced technology. Now let us run like the there's nothing we can't do!

TralalaaaaaAAA!

The past is a blast

of fun fury and fervour
the ups and downs
the asses and clowns
make me-me
and you-you
some of it can go to hell
everything else whatever
the next minutes good bad or something

blogging is my alonely thing
maybe that's why half of it's bitchy
because I hate being alonely

awesome blog

this is the bitchinest little britain
http://www.neverseconds.blogspot.com

you cant follow her blog.... so I'm keeping it here.

The alternate route

Is gross and dumb!

Ugh, friends of my friends who were my friends are kind of friends?

I really hope I don't have to face that person. It's just super awkward and I have nothing to say.
Because there isn't really, except for the usual life updates, school, summer, whatever.
I would be happy to drop you out of my life and my home town friend circle, so I can have home lovely times with /them.

Habit is stupid. We're not compatible. We never dated, so don't bad mouth me. You have NO right.

Always go with your gut. It will take you miles away to happy town.

Fuck yes fuck yes fuck yes.

time tells

After years of social anxiety, anticipating leaving before each encounter, it feels amazing to cherish someone's presence so much that you don't want to let go. I can spend days doing nothing and feeling bored, but leaving is something I can't help but try to postpone as best that I can.

I feel like I'm orbiting some warm presence that draws me in with love and affection. I can't help but feel complete and safe when that centre is near. I feel like I'm in a daze of bliss. Finally, I have a relationship where, though there are setbacks, I have no doubts. While it scared me at first to fully confide my emotions in this person, my walls are letting down.

I'm trusting myself to trust and it feels magnificent.
Bio:
Name: The Magnificent
Eyes: Fondly brown
Hair: So thick and curly I could use it as my pillow (and I would if I could avoid causing discomfort)
Smile: Goofy and to die for
History: A chemistry that built up to a fervour of love.

End sucky post/

Befriend your boyfriend's family!

There's an app for that.
Coming Soon!
Right?

I think I'm getting better

I don't know how, I don't know why, but suddenly I've breached some safety zone.
And while there is a shadow of doubt that this is only temporary... I'll head in a different direction soon enough... I hope this time it sticks. And that I can have babies n stuff.

A girl

All I need is a little black dress and a giant white one.

We're going to start a poutinerie and stick these all over town.
I don't think that warrants copyright?

330 Charlotte

I love you 330 Charlotte, I want to come see you when it tickles my fancy. Being away from you is okay, I guess, but I'd rather just be free. Maybe you'll stick around, but I want what's best. Even if it means you get abandoned these next two years. Those blinds in your window will always remind me of the many times I peaked through to say hello.

I feel bad that I excitedly shoved the opportunity at Western in your face when there was more to your relocation than I presumed. I know you love me and we'll be okay, I would just prefer you doing it close by. Or maybe it's better and I'll become more independent n stuff. I don't really know, I hope you're not swayed by me.

Smart Lad.

Nothing says I'm sorry like your physical presence.

tick tock fuck you

I was pretty pumped after our phone conversation last night. You break the news that you're going to drop off ten more resumes before seeing if you can use the car to come see me, finally. While I'm stressed from my exams and have no one here as an object of sympathy after my grandma dies, it's great to finally have some release. Plus, you make me really happy, and I'm horny from deprivation.

I wake up three times out of anticipation, which I let you know. 

It's noon, and I convince myself it's reasonable - you might still be out there or maybe they started training you already. I tell myself this while also staring at every red car that meanders by in case you've decided to surprise me.

MY MISTAKE. I awkwardly creep your home phone number and call only to find out that you forgot. That feels great. Thanks for getting my hopes up only to find out that you couldn't even remember to send me any relevant information.

It's just me. I just love you and gushed my intestines out last night about how excited I was.

Rant over before it never ends.

Back to MizBiz

I love unfriending people.
Because people are lame.

breathe woman!

ugh studying makes me overeat like a mofo.
this is why I keep my groceries understocked.
why? because food will always feel exponentially better than studying.
but it won't get me a degree, so back to business girl

The Home Stretch

That space of time where I really figure out if I've been learning anything or just digesting information.
In one ear and out my ass.
3 days until exam day.
I need these marks ohhhh baby.

Skype - the evil

An unsuccessful Skype session left this girl in tears after a breezy encounter with boy.

The connection was false, and after continuous isolation studying, with none of my close friends nearby, seeing the one person that would help me the most in that setting was pitifully disappointing.
It also didn't help that I was given no detail into our next encounter. Normally I'm fairly chill, but these are shitty post-mortem times. There is nothing more calming than the reassurance of time and numbers.

Upon returning to the textual platform, we agreed that the medium wasn't for us.
The cold synthetic interaction did more than exacerbate the sense of longing.
Talking to a computer screen always made me uncomfortable, I've never been able to do it.
In the spotlight, it is so distant from true human interaction. You are put in a small window with a timer measuring your interaction and limited mobility. The person on the other end could be looking at anything - porn if they wanted. I get the weirdest feeling from looking at someone's eyes through a screen without seeing them.
The 'uncanny valley' might explain this as so close to a real human experience that it evokes an opposite response to the sense of connection advertised.

One would agree.

home

I just want to go home, kiss my friends and get drunk in someone's yard.
Drive to Havelock, pick up a delicious hangover bagel and curl up on the catch and watch movies with corgi Agnes.

comfort where are you!

Logic

You only piss me off when you're not around.

Babies

When they laugh: OMG MOST HEARTWARMING SOUND EVUR!:'D
When they cry: shut up baby

London Public Library

This could be the most harmonious and enjoyable place if the library invested in bouncers. Equality is nice, but your smelly, rude and obnoxious. Quiet resolute nerds only please. Guttural snoring and raving homeless men. Damn government funded public places. I <3 class systems!

:(

And here comes the sadness Oh wait, I need to study for the two finals that are crucial to my progress in my degree Fuck I need really good marks too Bad timing world I just want to curl up in a ball and bawl

to my gma!

Space cloud hollaaaa this toffee white chocolate blondie goes out to youu

bramble

Aw man, all I want to do is make a hilarious ironic comment on this girl's pregger baby photos but that would be mean yes dont do that EVEN THOUGH IT"S HILARIOUS Called it before she reached age of consent sorry internet, I just find non-high-school-graduate pregos funny I believe in pills and vacuums, how bout you?

nyehhhhhh, he's a stinker. and i want his stinky babies.

Sweet Relief

Here's hoping I got at least 45% on that exam. Then I'm in the clear! Good riddance compsci.

baby blues

I love you grammie. This keeps getting harder. Since the day I've been here we keep losing little pieces of you. I know this is so hard for you, and I'm sorry you had to go like this. Stuck in the den with a tv. Even though you can barely talk, I think I know you better than I did before. It's clear you were loved by many. The circulation of people and the cards and flowers that have been sent show it. I should've known you better. Also, I can't believe you put up with grandpa for that long. Yikes, you're way cooler than him. Sorry gpa, but yikes^

The Cox Residence

Ohhh my grandpa. He may speak down to me, but what a child. I can only defend him to myself for so long before I perceive him as immature and insensitive. Strike One. When you let down the ladies who have been doing unlimited tasks for you because you're too timid and restless to be in the same house as your dying wife... well that's too much. The nurse needs someone else there that's all. Hardly any pressure. I don't know. If I was married to someone for sixty years, I might act differently. Death does weird things to people.

nbd..o wait

my grammies hair is gone and she couldn't leave her room today
so yah bd
any form of communication will do
you're great a lot
but sometimes your mistakes are so obviously retarded

Man dude

Why is my sister just a downer butt.
All I asked was if she and her boyfriend emailed.
And she somehow made me doubt my relationship
because mine and I do...
Does this make sense?
No, but in a world where she has to be better than me
at least at most things
it does.


eye roll, smd

fucking yellow

It's a sad day when an article
uncovering the recent insurgence of plastic surgeries performed on chins
is emboldened below a small strip about a bombing in afghanistan.

Bermuda Bound Bitchez

Yay vacay
I guess

Do I frolic and enjoy myself amongst an invalid.
Ahh this is scary.
I've never been exposed to this.
I don't know what scares me more, seeing my grandmother in a pre-mortem state or my grandfather's reaction.

Les gahs

toopid

Will this week not stop shitting on my head.
Ahhhh I'm a a dumb fuck and texting is evil.
The only typos I that I make offend my boyfriend.
This is where I freak out.
Or compulsively clean the house.

hear no evil

Sorry babe, but sometimes when you talk you talk too much and I become a cagey bombshelter.
Learn to read.

I don't need you to attack my emotions with pretty words while I am fully aware of them.

My grammie's dying, live while you can, she'll be happier for it blah blah blah. Thanks, say it once.
Now I'm just crying AND I feel shitty for peacing on you so abruptly.

Ahhh it's cool though, you do your best.

WOH

Well, that was the week from hell... Even if I can't get my passport on time.... I'm not doing my exams.

The above is an exaggeration. For while I do have many academic and decaying relative struggles, I just spent the longest amount of time with one person than I ever have before. Thursday night to Wednesday morning he was by my side. Staying up til 4am while I exhausted my self over a last minute essay. Fuck, it's great not to have a fucktard or give any fucks.

My roommates on the other hand may feel differently... Depending on the acoustics of the house, they may have been exposed to 8 hours and 7 sessions. We're gross and irresponsible right now. Hopefully, I like him a little bit less by next year so that I can re-focus my brain.... Bound to get A's at least once in my undergrad? Maybe, but for now I'll ride the wave and embrace this anomie in my life. A nice guy!

And to the hypocrite that bitches about me to my best friend after years of bulllllogne... RUDE.

I need a passport.

Facebook should make a "nobody gives a shit about your bathroom selfie" button

Derp

Don't make plans if you know you're gonna fuck them up
Just don't make them

Then I don't have to be overly disappointed after sitting in a library all day
I know you mean well but fuuuck
Or tell me what you're doing before it's 2am

every little thing

is gonna be okay.


We had our first fight. Weird: we talked about it, perplexed about the notion. I guess it just happened. It's odd how yelling at you and throwing away my phone and shoes makes me love you more. Sorry I hit you, though I can barely remember what we fought about, the look on your face stains my memory.

Your post-sex slumber is cute. Let you never see this blog.

<3's kyle

Hey

LEARN TO GIRL

Signed
I just started birth control and this estrogen is making me exceptionally more bitchy

i know

you're right, we are obsessed.
and i fucking love itt.

you're the bees knees, dont change.
visit my shit.

But

I suck at school xp

shwoopdeedooo

I got a boyfriend before I turned twenty.

And he is sweetness quantum madness.

I DID IT I GOT IT

he's grand, understand?

Mission Critical

my new compsci really likes coding. he kind of scares me.
fuuuuuh i hope i can handle this content.

immab

This has been such a wild break. I really didn't think it would have that much of an effect on me, but it has been very interesting. This whole month, december with january actually has been thick with shit going down. Like everywhere, not just my life. I don't wanna go on a moral splurge, but I've learned so much. Like that losing people is so easy, but so is keeping them. Though it makes me sad to leave, I'm glad to have had this experience so that London is better.

all the drunks

excited for school to begin and not be drunk... every... other....night
...
.....
...
maybe :P

The world's mine oyster

This phrase first appears in Shakespeare's play The Merry Wives of Windsor

Falstaff: I will not lend thee a penny.
Pistol: Why then the world's mine oyster,
Which I with sword will open.
Falstaff: Not a penny.

The oyster contains a precious pearl which attests to itself high value, even today. If the world is one's oyster, they have the chance to seek high rewards. You may have access to many opportunities to leisurely choose from, given that you are in a position to do so. Those in North Korea would may have oyster intolerance.

Fuck the economy, I want an oyster.

Note to self stop waking up on the couch.
I do live here...

Guh, I don't want to go back to London yet.
I'm so content n stuff here, right now. I think I'm dreading returning to the mentality. There's so much pressure to meet a high ideal, and sometimes I think the amount of pressure has a negative effect and I end up being even less productive.

One major benefit which will make it run much smoother is that this semester is devoid of Calculus. That's for summer school, which was gonna happen regardless. Haha, and it'll be /easier/ in the summer. Fucking prerequisite's which give me no joy whatsoever. The only downfall of this is that I would have to stay in London for the summer. This at first seems like an exciting prospect, as I've never had a summer spent in a real city before (oh, except for 10 weeks at SickKids, but let's not count that), but I think a break from London is healthy, and gives me balance and appreciation for both. Not to mention I would save money at home. I raised this concern to my mother and she came up with a genius point. Take Calculas at Trent and have them transfer the credit to Western. SO intrigued, I'm definitely going to discuss this with academic counselling to see if it's at all possible. Then I would be in Peterborough every day and could visit my luvuuuur, hollykins until I drove her nutso. Or I could just do it online, the world is my oyster.

Ah, there's an electrician man yacking with my parents in the kitchen. LEAVE sir so I don't feel like an awkward, rude teen just because I want to walk through my kitchen and progress with my day.

Happy New Years Bitches

Such a good windup to 2011.

Great times with my old friends to start this year anew. Maybe too much booze, thank god my friends still love me.
We hit up Peterborough, me hawree, dee, reb, chris and adam.
Lookin Slammin'.

Delayed photo publishing is unacceptable!
It's 2012 mang, we're a fast-paced generation!